Ficlet for Fanfic 100 prompt: Strangers
Jan. 16th, 2006 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lostakashaTitle: Nineteen Hours Earlier
Pairing: A/N, with the spectre of A/C looming large
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 434
Disclaimers: Don't own them. And I'm poor, too.
Summary: Angel has an oral fixation. Just not for the person he's boning. Is dark. Is sad. Is Angel.
A/N: Oddly enough, the seed for this ficlet was planted in a drabble I posted for the 'Playboy Bunny' challenge at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
open_on_sunday.
A/N 2: Anyone else notice that Angel and Nina's one kiss was very...sterile? This ficlet explores that. But not with tongue.
Nineteen Hours Earlier
After more than 250 years there are some behaviors Angel can’t shake: living in suspended animation; aching for the fight; sketching; grief sex.
On the eve of his challenge to the Circle of the Black Thorn, Angel screws Nina with scientific detachment and she thinks he’s a god. He thinks of Darla and their last time; remembers surrendering, punishing himself. Craving death.
Nina is chattering about something. Doesn’t matter what; Angel’s not in the mood to listen.
Cordelia would have slapped his face.
He’d have wound up on his ass in the middle of the bedroom floor if she even suspected his thoughts were elsewhere.
Nina follows Angel into the shower, stands on tiptoe to reach his mouth but he doesn’t let her connect. She tells him he’s the least orally-fixated vampire in history. In lieu of something more intimate, Angel fucks her from behind.
With nothing between them but a twisted, monstrous connection, Nina cannot know that Angel loves to kiss. She believes him when he makes up a vapid lie about the sharpness of his teeth and it being a ‘vampire thing’ and takes no offense when he receives her kisses with closed lips. She cannot possibly know that Angel’s kisses are his soul’s expression: he claims with them, brands with them, surrenders with them.
She cannot know how he craved the mad collision of teeth and tongue and bone that typified Darla's savage kisses, or how with eternal patience he trained Drusilla's quivering, timid mouth into an instrument of bliss, and that he still smiles inwardly when Spike waxes poetic about the transcendence of her kiss.
She cannot know how he sought to be consumed in Buffy's wild, fiery kisses, how her mouth on his made his heart race on the only day he remembers it beating. Nor can she know his insatiable need for the touch of his child's butter-soft cheek against his lips.
Whether he lives or dies in the days to come makes no difference. No one will ever know that Cordelia's kisses restored his faith, gave him courage, then hope. And that of all of his lovers, she was the one whose kiss he never attempted to change. Not that he could.
Cordelia tasted like licorice and pepper. The memory of it chokes him, buckles his knees. Nina takes this for a sign of rapture and coos his name. He lifts her and drives deeper, determined not to sob. As with nearly everything else in his long, dreadful life, his determination means nothing and he fails spectacularly.
His keening wail fills the open stall.
Nina smiles, leans into his savage thrusts, and howls.
Pairing: A/N, with the spectre of A/C looming large
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 434
Disclaimers: Don't own them. And I'm poor, too.
Summary: Angel has an oral fixation. Just not for the person he's boning. Is dark. Is sad. Is Angel.
A/N: Oddly enough, the seed for this ficlet was planted in a drabble I posted for the 'Playboy Bunny' challenge at
open_on_sunday. A/N 2: Anyone else notice that Angel and Nina's one kiss was very...sterile? This ficlet explores that. But not with tongue.
Nineteen Hours Earlier
After more than 250 years there are some behaviors Angel can’t shake: living in suspended animation; aching for the fight; sketching; grief sex.
On the eve of his challenge to the Circle of the Black Thorn, Angel screws Nina with scientific detachment and she thinks he’s a god. He thinks of Darla and their last time; remembers surrendering, punishing himself. Craving death.
Nina is chattering about something. Doesn’t matter what; Angel’s not in the mood to listen.
Cordelia would have slapped his face.
He’d have wound up on his ass in the middle of the bedroom floor if she even suspected his thoughts were elsewhere.
Nina follows Angel into the shower, stands on tiptoe to reach his mouth but he doesn’t let her connect. She tells him he’s the least orally-fixated vampire in history. In lieu of something more intimate, Angel fucks her from behind.
With nothing between them but a twisted, monstrous connection, Nina cannot know that Angel loves to kiss. She believes him when he makes up a vapid lie about the sharpness of his teeth and it being a ‘vampire thing’ and takes no offense when he receives her kisses with closed lips. She cannot possibly know that Angel’s kisses are his soul’s expression: he claims with them, brands with them, surrenders with them.
She cannot know how he craved the mad collision of teeth and tongue and bone that typified Darla's savage kisses, or how with eternal patience he trained Drusilla's quivering, timid mouth into an instrument of bliss, and that he still smiles inwardly when Spike waxes poetic about the transcendence of her kiss.
She cannot know how he sought to be consumed in Buffy's wild, fiery kisses, how her mouth on his made his heart race on the only day he remembers it beating. Nor can she know his insatiable need for the touch of his child's butter-soft cheek against his lips.
Whether he lives or dies in the days to come makes no difference. No one will ever know that Cordelia's kisses restored his faith, gave him courage, then hope. And that of all of his lovers, she was the one whose kiss he never attempted to change. Not that he could.
Cordelia tasted like licorice and pepper. The memory of it chokes him, buckles his knees. Nina takes this for a sign of rapture and coos his name. He lifts her and drives deeper, determined not to sob. As with nearly everything else in his long, dreadful life, his determination means nothing and he fails spectacularly.
His keening wail fills the open stall.
Nina smiles, leans into his savage thrusts, and howls.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 05:09 am (UTC)The last two lines? killers.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 05:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 07:26 am (UTC)I wondered if that was because he wasn't with Darla, Spike, Buffy, Wesley, Dru or Cordy - or because Nina was really bad in bed. Then, I realized that she probably wasn't bad in bed: artist and werewolf -- a great combination, in the 'verse. It was probably the fact that it was just relaxational sex -- and The Broody One was too preoccupied for more than that.
Also: of course he wouldn't share: to share would have imperiled him, and he wouldn't want to see her die.... Of course, HE didn't mind dying himself...and taking the rest of Team Angel with him.....
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 01:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 05:57 am (UTC)But I took a chance (it did say the spectre of A/C looming large, lol) and I'm glad I did.
why I loved it?
I have always believed that kissing is far more intimate and giving of yourself than your body. A relationship, to me, is dying or dead when you can't face kissing them any more- and dead before it started if you've never wanted to.
And Angel Sobbing with his loss of cordelia? you completely own me.
*loves you* Sachxx
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 06:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 01:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 06:03 am (UTC)Loved this line: "Nor can she know his insatiable need for the touch of his child's butter-soft cheek against his lips." There should've been more Connor and Angel holding and touching and kissing. Not just because it's hot and not just because I sometimes like reading incest. Angel's very tactile and I think he wanted to touch him, all the time, and loved how his son felt. *sniff*
Love the parallel you drew to Darla with Nina--I can't believe I never drew that one before. Lovely, lovely sad job.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 01:38 pm (UTC)And yes, too, to the baby kissing. Connor gave him grace, and let him experience love on a level he never even considered. Plus -- he's just a daddy. :::snifff::::
Thank you for your wondeful feedback...I'm really glad you enjoyed this so much!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 09:29 am (UTC)She cannot possibly know that Angel’s kisses are his soul’s expression: he claims with them, brands with them, surrenders with them.
Wow. So very powerful. And beautifully written too.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 01:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 10:22 am (UTC)*turns away* ...there's something in my eye.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 01:40 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading. I'm a bad fangirl for making Angel so very, very sad....
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 02:31 pm (UTC)Anyway, A/N is one of those pairings I can barely stomach. I usually retch just seeing "A/N" in the title. But knowing how well you write and how you do love C/A, I cut you some slack. *hee* I'm not disappointed.
Everyone has already picked apart and noted the brilliance of it, so I'll just say I totally agree. You even made me feel a *little* sorry for Nina but even detached sex with Angel is better than none at all in my book so I can't feel too sorry for her. It's Cordy who got shafted or...ya know...*not* shafted...and hecky darn she deserved one time with him after all she went through. Ah, crap, now I'm crying over Cordy again. Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 04:51 pm (UTC)I wanted this to be more about Angel, and more true to what I think his nature is. And I think if he hadn't lost Cordy he wouldn't have had the reckless strength to take down the Black Thorn. I can see him madly grieving her loss even if we hold to canon and go along with the 'almost, not quite' storyline.
But I can never see him not having sex.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 04:06 pm (UTC)I agree, Angel always comes off as very tactile and it's always seemed to me that he pours his heart into his kisses. I love the thought that it's Cordelia's kiss that gives him strength and hope, even more than the actual vision.
Lovely work.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-17 04:56 pm (UTC)I could write pages about Angel's kissing fetish -- as I'm sure we all could. But I'm glad that I went back into the drabble and made Nina a touch more sympathetic.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-18 03:29 am (UTC)But this put it in perspective, and I loved this line: "Cordelia would have slapped his face." So true, Cordelia would have never put up with any crap from him or anyone.
Beautifully written. Powerful.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-18 06:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-18 05:52 am (UTC)And yes, as the mother of a 2-year old, I get how much Angel wants/needs to touch his child. It's always there.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-18 06:49 am (UTC)And the loss of baby Connor still slays me, so, gotta spread that pain :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-18 07:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 04:20 pm (UTC)Great stuff.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 07:33 pm (UTC)And, yeah, BBM is so moving and affecting -- just brilliant, so haunting. I personally think it's a story that will stay with me forever.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 07:25 pm (UTC)You are in fanciction what Deb is in video making. A Goddess!!
I mean like Califi, I don't like reading anything BUT C/A cause hello! hee Especially when it's a love or smut story.
But then again knowing it was you who wrote it didn't make me hesitate one bit whether to read it or not.
WOW. Just wow. *is dead*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 07:41 pm (UTC)And I'm tickled that you really loved this little story -- as we all are with C/A, I'm on a mission to right MEs wrongs, and I love doing it by explaining the backstory so their shit makes sense. Beats workin'.
Thanks for the lovely fb!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 07:59 pm (UTC)It is isn't it. :)
And I'm tickled that you really loved this little story -- as we all are with C/A, I'm on a mission to right MEs wrongs, and I love doing it by explaining the backstory so their shit makes sense. Beats workin'.
I didn't think it was possible to love you more.
Thanks for the lovely fb!
And your vey welcom dahling. *mwah!*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 09:19 pm (UTC)This is hard and mean and Angel-y to the core. God.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 09:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 09:33 pm (UTC)This is so beautifully, achingly sad, and very powerfully written. It's gorgeous :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-19 09:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 12:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-20 01:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-24 12:00 am (UTC)This is marvelous and dark and just so full of unvoiced pain. And yes, his stoicism is forced; he's constantly holding his sensuality in check. At this point, Nina just isn't the one he can let go with. Although he did blink when she verbally kicked his ass for sending her to Mexico. There was that millisecond of lost potential. But before that? Yeah, he was totally elsewhere. Even my icon shows that.
As with nearly everything else in his long, dreadful life, his determination means nothing and he fails spectaculary.
Wonderful line because, yes, he's never half-assed about anything.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-24 02:35 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and that you feel I've caught Angel well here. Agreed that he goes full-tilt, right or wrong ...and that if nothing else, he tries.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-24 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-24 11:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 03:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-28 11:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-28 06:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-12 03:59 pm (UTC)Still, this ficlet packs a wallop. Best kind of fic.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-13 10:29 pm (UTC)Thanks for coming by to read this! I'm glad you liked it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-15 01:21 am (UTC)Damn. Just . . . damn.
Excellent work.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-15 01:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 08:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-10 10:46 pm (UTC)Thank you so very much!!!! So glad you found this.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-02 12:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-02 05:04 pm (UTC)These lines just slayed me: Angel screws Nina with scientific detachment and she thinks he’s a god. He thinks of Darla and their last time; remembers surrendering, punishing himself. Craving death.